


If you should squishy an Eisenbiber, remember...

by Keenir



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Gen, OFC - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:58:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keenir/pseuds/Keenir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Bud are brought in to settle a parental dispute.  Just one problem...</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you should squishy an Eisenbiber, remember...

_"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"_

* * *

* * *

Everyone met at a long table at McDonalds.  'Everyone' in this case being three parents, one child, Bud, and Nick - Bud had gone on for a bit (earlier, when broaching the request to Nick) about how the parents wanted a Grimm to settle a dispute and say which of them was in the right.

"These are your friends from the other lodge?" Nick asked.

"That's right - James and Erica Clay."

"Hello," they said to Nick, chattering at him with various other words for 'hi' in English.

A heavy cough behind the Clays, and they darted to one side, letting Nick meet who was next.

"Those are the Mecklens," Erica said to Nick.

"Mecklens?" Nick repeated, looking at the tall woman and her lanky daughter.

Only the mother's hands woged, revealing something as wrinkled as an old man's or a turtle. Rolling her eyes at Erica, she said to Nick, "My name is Jodi Mecklen, and this is my daughter Ariel."

"Ariel?"

Entirely human lips snarled, though not aimed at him. "Trust an Eisenbiber to lie about having found an unbiased Grimm."

"Oh no!" Bud said. "Nick's good, he's very good, and fair, you would not believe - actually, that's true but unfair, which is -"

"Bud," Nick said, stopping him there. To Jodi, "I'm sorry - its just an unusual name for anyone to have."

"A fair point," Jodi granted, and took a seat; Ariel pulled up a chair beside her.

The Clays did likewise, though keeping a sizeable space between them and the Mecklens.

Nick took a seat on the other side of the table from them, Bud beside him in case he needed something explained (a point Nick had made on the drive over here, so there'd be no argument or dissembling). "Now, just so we're all on the same page here, can you tell me what happened?"

"Their daughter broke our son's front teeth!" Erica Clay stated.

"Our Robert will never be the same again," said James.

Nick looked at Ariel, whose head was drooping slightly now. "Is this true?"

"Grimmlaw?" Jodi asked to verify.

Nick sighed. "I'm not going to kill anyone, no matter who wants me to. Bud here told me that you and the Clays wanted me to weigh in on this - even after you've already accepted the school's punishment for fighting." He asked Ariel again, "Is what she said true?"

In a very soft voice, Ariel said, "I didn't mean to. I squishied him, and my skin is tough like my mom's, and he got hurt. I didn't mean to," she repeated to the Clays.

"A confession!" Erica declared with more glee than Nick had seen an Eisenbiber have for anything before. "Even without you ending them, you can admit that the Mecklens are in the wrong, can you not, Grimm?"

Looking dead at her, Nick told Erica, "Just wait."

She fumed, her hair starting to bristle.

Returning his attention to Ariel, "Did Robert know that you're a...?" Nick asked.

Ariel shook her head. "We saw each other as -" and used a word that Nick didn't know, and it didn't sound Germanic.

Bud supplied a translation: "That means they each knew the other was a wesen, but not what type of wesen."

"So in other words," Nick said, turning to face the Clays, "your son bit Ariel Mecklen, not knowing that she'd be unharmed."

"Physically," Jodi inserted.

"Serves her right for squishying my son!" Erica snapped at her. "How can you not be angry at your daughter for squishying?"

"You backwater hicks. My daughter has better taste than I did at her age. And why should I apologize to an apologist?"

Nick knew that, in the Middle Ages, apologists were people and books which _defended_ certain positions or claims. "Ariel, it's not nice to squish people, whether they're wesen or not. Do you understand?"

Ariel nodded.

"Thank you," James said.

"Oh, I'm not finding in anyone's favor," Nick said. "Robert could've seriously hurt Ariel if she hadn't been protected."

Both of the Clays woged and glared at Bud. _If this'd happened back when I first met him, Bud probably would've ran for it, or hid behind me,_ Nick knew. Now, Bud just stood there, weathering their glares as they stormed silently out of the room.

Jodi and Ariel stood, as did Nick.

"My thanks, Grimm," Jodi said.

"I didn't find in your favor or theirs," Nick reminded her.

"You flicked the noses of the Eisenbibers, that's good enough for me. Good day to you."

"Can I shake your hand?" Ariel asked him. "I promise not to brag about it," she assured him.

 _Just when I thought I'd heard the last of the 'I touched a Grimm and lived'..._ Nick held out his hand for a handshake, smiling politely. "All I ask is that you keep out of trouble from now on."

* * *

Later that day, at the Spice Shop:

"Squishies?" Rosalee and Monroe asked in perfect unison when Nick told them what the dispute had been over.

"Yeah, why?"

"Uh, Nick, do you know what a squishy is?"

"Trying to squeeze someone to death," Nick guessed.

"Let me show you," Rosalee said. "I'll demonstrate on Monroe."

"Um..."

"I'm perfectly fine with Rosalee squishying me as much as she likes," Monroe said.

Rosalee stepped up to within Monroe's personal space, and kissed the side of his nose. And then stepped back.

"Where's the squishy?" Nick asked.

"You just saw it," she said.

"I saw you kiss Monroe's nose."

They nodded.

Nick groaned. _Oh no. Well, at the very least, I owe the Mecklens an apology - not least of which is because now I'm finding in their favor. I can change my ruling, right? Probably - who'd tell a Grimm no?_ and shook his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I made up the word.


End file.
